Let's Talk About Sex

I know, I know...corny title. But seriously, let's talk about sex. A HUGE chunk of my life has been consumed with controversy surrounding a keynote speaker that was being brought to the OSU campus for the Modern Sex conference. Tristan Taormino, because of her background in feminist pornography, was uninvited by OSU administrators because they felt they couldn't responsibly fund her appearance as a key note speaker with tax payer money.

Censorship, freedom of speech, and anti-feminism arguments aside, Tristan was angry (reasonably so) and so were OSU Students.

Long story short, we got her here, after a month or so of drama filled work days. Tonight she spoke in the Lasell's Stewart Center about "Claiming Your Sexual Power" and to put it bluntly: IT WAS AMAZING! Tristan has combined a lot of the things that I'm passionate about into a career and her event tonight made me think a lot about sex, the sex industry, feminism, and the media.

I've always been extremely open about my sexuality and my sexual activity. I believe our society has a huge issue in that we label women who enjoy sex as sluts and whores. Then we turn around and label women who aren't ready for sex as prudes and teases. It's a double standard, a weird double-edged sword that ends bad for both sides.

First: Sex is natural. It's fun. It's stress-relieving (it should be). It's a lot of things. But, as Tristan reminded me and a crowd full of "Collective Sexual Beings" sex in our society is bad. It's used as an advertising agent and then shut behind closed doors. It's a taboo. It's not something to be openly expressed or talked about.

It's not something we educate our society about. Sex education in high school seriously got me nowhere. I didn't use any of that information when I began to explore my own sexual self. I was thrown into a world I knew nothing about and I felt around the darkness for the light switch...for a LONG time.

Why does it have to be this way? Why can't we offer sex positive education in our high schools, in our middle schools? Why can't we be a society that embraces our sexuality and sexual nature? A society that is open to different ideas of pleasure and desire, of what feels good and what doesn't? Why can't we have sex positive images in the media, images that accurately portray the diverse world of sex?

Why can't this be the thing that connects my two majors together? Why can't I take a degree in Women Studies and a degree in New Media Communications and work hard to provide people with an extensive sexual knowledge.

I can't tell you how many times I've dealt with sideways glances, rolled eyes, and muttered whispers when I bring up sex and sexuality. It's no surprise that I categorize myself as a feminist. But do you want to know my stance on sex?

If you're comfortable with it, do it. If you like it and you can claim pleasure in it and you are safe about it. DO IT! IF you want to have multiple partners and you do so in a respectful and safe manner that includes those partners being in the "know" with each other. Freakin DO IT

If you aren't yet comfortable with sexuality or with intercourse, don't do it.

Be you. In the words of the great Tristan Taormino, claim your sexual power.

What is so bad about a woman who likes sex? Who has slept with a lot of people? Who has been safe and respectful in her sexual activities?

Similarly, what is so bad about a man who does the same thing?

Thank you Tristan Taormino, for you have given me a lot of inspiration and a lot to think about. I think that I want to focus on human sexuality and steer my career towards being a sex advocate in the SEX INDUSTRY.

Yes, I've confessed an interest to work in the sex industry. Now how many of you cringed when reading that? Think about why.